YOUR MARITAL HEALTH/THE MOST OFTEN ASKED QUESTION: WHY WOULD ANYBODY WANT TO DO THAT?
“He wants to put it up my butt. I hate it. It hurts. Why would anybody want to do that?”
ANSWER: Even though the rectum has connotations in our culture that make it seem dirty and corrupt, it is actually a very sensitive area. You know that, because you know how much it hurts you when he tries to enter you there. There is nothing unnatural about anal penetration. It is purely a matter of two things, preference and knowledge. The issue of preference can be addressed only by open communication. The issue of knowledge may help in this situation, because the facts may help you both to come up with a solution to your differences. The tissue in that area of the body is not only sensitive but can be damaged easily. Lubrication is important, so if you ever decide to do it, use a well-lubricated condom. Infection can be a problem, too, so make sure there is no cross-stimulation from the rectum to other areas of the body. Finally, it takes practice and cooperation to accomplish penetration of the anus. Practicing with slight insertion of the little finger and moving on to more and more penetration can help, and learning to relax the muscles in that area facilitates entry. Super marital sex rules indicate that the small-step approach can help here, with approximations of penetration aided by verbal fantasy of penetration. Surrendering or forcing only causes you both to relate such activity to the cultural orientation of “a pain in the ass.” An important super marital sex rule is that there should never be intentional mental or physical pain or coercion during any sexual interaction.
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